My Word

This has been one of those, horrible, emotionally draining days...well...week really, and I know the purpose of this blog is to share things, but I really can't give any details about whats been going on. Its not my place, and this whole thing is really just bigger than me. Not many people know me well enough to know that I don't handle stress well. I don't sleep, and I usually have anxiety attacks, which is hard for me to admit, I'm not one to openly admit my flaws. But, In all this, what I'm trying to do is ask for some serious prayer for me, and for this situation. I'm not used to asking for help, but because this is bigger than me, I can't handle dealing with this alone anymore, so some hardcore prayers would be appreciated.

Anyways.. :)
Two good things about today:
1) Kristian Stanfill's new album "Mountains Move" came out today. I've already listened to it twice, and guys...its legit, like seriously...you need this album. So major props to KSB.
2) I rented Eat Pray Love today on iTunes. Super good movie. Very thought provoking. Especially this one part where Julia Robert's character Liz is in Rome and shes eating dinner with some people shes met, and they're talking about what how each city has a word. For example..in the movie they said: London=stuffy, Stockholm= conform, New York=ambition or soot, and Rome=sex. (Aside: seriously...the said sex for Rome...for real.) And eventually, one of them asks Liz what her word would be. Silence.
And like any normal person, my next thought was "What would my word be?" And just like Liz, silence... And for some reason, that was just so unsettling to me. I have no idea who I am, in the most broad sense. So, aside from everything else that was previously stated... I've been mulling over that.  So in conclusion, this whole New Years Resolution now consists of me: being healthier, less sarcastic, to share with the people i care about more, and to figure out who in the crap i am. Go big or go home I guess??

"Day after day, Our God is reigning, he's never shaken. My Hope is in the Lord. Time after time, Our God is faithful, trustworthy Savior, My Hope is in the Lord" -Day After Day: Kristian Stanfill, Mountains Move.
....just a little taste for you there....  :)
Thanks for listening.
-Rachel